If You're Black Step Back
(especially if you are poor)

So, normally nothing that happens in a beauty pageant would make it in to anything I write. But this points out one of the great problems in Colombia. All of the judges have come out and publicly stated that if they had it their way Nataly would have won Miss Cartagena.


Nataly first left, Siad 3rd from right

But,instead of choosing her they chose Siad.
Why? Well Nataly, despite being in her fourth year as an art student, and according to them charming and the best looking of the girls, is poor (and black). They were told that they needed to vote for a rich girl.

The judges state that while they weren't told who to vote vote for by name; they were told that it should be a girl who belonged to a certain elite club--only two of the contestants belonged to this club.

While they say this is because the city couldn't afford to pay a poor girl's way they also note that Nataly had an NGO that had offered to pay for her needs as Miss Cartagena (that is a whole other topic... What the hell is an NGO doing paying for beauty queens?)
At any rate they were also pressured to have a rich girl win because the girl would have "a certain class" according to them. They were told to elect a girl that was of the same class as last year's miss Cartagena (a young woman who is part of Cartagena's elite).The judges said that they chose Siad over her because in the end choosing Nataly would have caused too many problems for Nataly since the pageant didn't want her to be chosen. How considerate of them... I guess its going to be peachy keen for her to be runner up with all of this out in the open. I'm told last year the queen from Bogota was disqualified by the national pageant directors-based in Cartagena-ostensibly because she hadn't lived in the city long enough but in actuality because she was black and poor too. More reasons for these things to be abolished.

A dream, I am happily sucking a white morsel of lobster out of its shell. Butter dribbles down my chin. I lick my fingers and the taste of lime combines with the soft flesh. I look down at my plate in at the little dead lobster eyes and remember, horrified that I am a vegetarian.


I have been having this dream for about 18 years. Ever since I became a vegetarian. After the first two years I have had it rarely--only once or twice a year. But all together it’s probably been over 30 times.

The water is turquoise, and the wind is making the waves rush away from the shore. Looking out I see men rowing back into the sea on their canoes. I look down at my plate at the lobster. But I am more preoccupied with the fact that I don’t like it. I look at the lobster claws and wonder, “Maybe the meat there is better…” I eat some slowly contemplating its texture firmer than any tofu. Then I turn my back on the plate--- It’s a lot better in my dreams. Things usually are but I don’t remember lobster’s having a slightly bitter taste. I ask Hugo if this is the way its supposed to taste. He answers in the affirmative. I shake my head in disappointment. My memories haven’t been accurate.
If this was the first piece of flesh I had eaten in 18 years that probably would have been the end of it--a bite to confirm that my ethics weren’t causing me to miss out. But I had tried fish the day before and liked it. In fact for the last week I have eaten fish or shrimp everyday.

I became a vegetarian because I thought, and still do, that eating meat was cruel.

The way I came to this realization was slow. First, I liked the cows at my aunt’s farm, the idea that we ate cows was disconcerting as I watched the dairy cows walk across the fields. Later, in middle school, I had to write a speech advocating vegetarianism for my English class. Shortly after that I made the decision.

It was fairly painless. I had only ever liked really expensive meat anyway. There were one or two slip the first year (I remember a particularly nasty ham pizza that probably confirmed my choice) but after that no meat ever knowingly passed my lips.

Now I am left with a bitter sense of an era passed. I still find the food chain appalling but frankly I find all life appalling. It has occurred to me that if a lion ate me for example I wouldn’t be angry at the lion. I am not sure what that means. Suffice it to say that if were to stay a vegetarian, I would need to become a fruititarian. Let me add that I don’t think this is radical or absurd but that somehow I don’t have the energy to explore this.

That’s it for now. I am hungry. And just in case your wondering it will be a vegetarian meal—this time.